NARRATIVE ESSAY
A
sadness behind the word Hijrah
Fitrah
ramadhan
In
a quite morning at my house, I saw my relatives and my extended family
packaging my things in the living room of my house. It was actually the day
that I had to go to Malang, the last day I saw the daily atmosphere of my
house, the last day I behaved as a son who were really spoiled to my mother,
the day where I start thinking that each of my steps will determine my future.
It was obviously drawn in their face that they never want to let me far away
from home. “Ya Allah, Buatlah kedua orang tuaku selalu merasakan keberadaanku
dirumah ini seperti biasanya” I prayed at that time. Because I could not stand
anymore inside of my room, hearing my parent’s voice, I immediately ate, got
dress, and went to hang around for no destination. Reaching the nearest beach
from my home, walking alone around the beach and there was no one there. The
swishing sound of wave seemed that it wanted me to tell everything in my mind, to
express what I was feeling, to shout out as hard as I can to let my sadness and
my anxiety fly away.
Sitting
on the white sand, I realized that I do not need to sad only because of I would
get a part from my home, my parents, or even my whole family. Consciously and
Quietly I said, “Aku tidak perlu sedih,
aku hanya pergi untuk menuntut ilmu dan kembali lagi dalam 4 tahun kedepannya”
then I shouted that sentence out to the coming wave, again and again. It had
been 4 pm and I got a call from my father asking me for being home as soon as
possible to prepare everything. As I came home, my father gave a bus ticket and
said “Jadwal keberangkatanmu jam 7 malam ini,
nama bis Dunia Mas, jalur Bima-Bali”
it made me surprise and thought why my father only purchased me a ticket to
Bali, while my destination was to Malang. “Nanti
mampir dulu di Om dan Bibi mu, mereka menyuruhmu mampir. Udah nak, cepat
siap-siap dan berpakaian, kamu harus pamit-pamit ke tetangga dan teman-temanmu”
he added. Without no words, I took a bath, got dress, and visited my neighbors’
to say good bye to them. I went to door to door and all of them prayed for my
successful and gave me same advice to have a better life. Then I returned to my
home, quickly hugged my mother and cried loudly in her huge for no any word.
Frankly speaking, that was the saddest moment in my life ever. I realized that
how was that possible I said good bye for getting apart for a while to my
mother, my father, and my brothers? Then, with a big backpack in my back, I
walked out with those who took me to the bus stop. My aunt (my father’s sister)
told me quietly “Bapakmu tadi langsung
masuk kamar dan bibi dengar seepertinya dia menangis”. Hearing that
sentence, I was directly speechless and trembling. My tears were heavily
falling down and it was so hard to stop crying. “Ya Allah, melalui ikrar hati aku memohon kepadaMu, tegarkanlah mereka
dan aku dalam perpisahan terberat ini, aku titip mereka, Jagalah mereka
sebagaimana mereka menjaga dan merawatku selama ini, manjakanlah mereka dengan
kesehatan dan rezekiMu sebagaimana mereka memanjakan anak sulungnya ini” I prayed
in a heavy crying. Sitting quietly in the bus stop, waiting for the bus, I was
precisely deep in thought probably for nothing and just though that I was about
to get apart from home, nothing else. I did not want to think about any
conditions anymore.
From
a distance, I saw a bus coming and certainly it made me in deeper sad. After
taking leave with all people there, I stepped my right foot up in the bus and
prayed “Ya Allahurobbi, rahmatilah niat
besar hamba untuk mempelajari segala ilmuMu, berkahilah hijrah pertama hamba
ini, dan tetapkanlah hamba selalu dalam lindunganMu, sesungguhnya hamba selalu
membutuhkan pelukanMu, Amin” during sitting in the bus with a strange, I
was totally in the deepest sad ever in my life and just being aware of my
leaving. To reduce my sadness, I listened to the music all time.
Arriving
in Ubung bus terminal, Denpasar-Bali, I was picked up by my uncle and my aunt
by a car and directly driving me around to some tourism places in Bali. I did
not know what were that all mean, but perhaps it was their way to loss my
sadness and to not think about anything I left. Positively thinking, I just had
fun on that journey. I continued my trip to Malang on the next day, in taking
across from gilimanuk port to ketapang port by a ferry, I just did nothing,
going around alone, eating pop Mie while feeling anxious, asking to myself
“Malang itu sebagus apaaaa ya?” and when arriving in bus terminal at 5 am, I
made a call to my father to tell him that I had been arrived in Arjosari
terminal. Honestly, I did not believe I stand alone in Malang city and waiting
for my friend who will pick me up. My anxious feeling was totally answered by
looking around that the civilization is just as same as my people and my place.
The only different thing I can compare is that the atmosphere which is very
cold and really peaceful condition. “Di
tanah Kota mungil nan indah ini, ku
menaburkan benih-benih impianku, Bismillahirrohmanirrohiim” I said in my
standing.
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